What's it like to be an orphan

What's it like to be an orphan and at orphanage? Are they happy?What's it like there?What is life like in an orphanage as a child? and lots of similar questions more and more people ask.

Every child has their own story... Every child passes through his own life road and has different experience and feelings.But at same time they have same feelings and emotions. Every child wants to be loved and feel protected...

So, here's a very little story of orphan girl what she went through and felt being at orphanage.

• She remembers very well her first day at an orphanage, even it is gone many years since that...She was 9 years old when got there. She remembers well promises of her mother come back and take away home in several months. She waited her, waited that special day daily but it never happened.
• This little girl remembers well, when her hair was cut off very soon. She felt terrible as all girls looked as boys with very short hair. She did not wish look as a boy. She knew a girl should look like a girl with long hair. She degraded. But no one paid attention on her tears.
• She was transferred to different orphanages several times. New classmates, new teachers, new friends. She felt stressful a little. As in every orphanage she had left friends, she always was so excited to get a letter from some. It was like a balm for a afflicted soul. Years later when she became a teen, this girl got a letter from a Christian lady, she kept it gently many, many years. She often opened it and re-read with such desire and carefully each word as she was reading it at first time.
• In one of orphanages weekends were worst days for this girl. You can not go where you want, only spend time in the yard of the orphanage. She wandered and did not know what to do...She felt sad and depressed. 

• At the age of 12 years old very often she was standing near window, cried and dreamed to have wings that fly away from the orphanage, somewhere where she would feel better... To be with someone, who would give a simple hug and where she would feel loved and happy. She dreamed to be at home... In a loving home...
• But at same time she did not wish to be at home...Because parents even they did not live together were fighting and yelling. She cried a lot and pleaded parents to stop. But tears did not help...Mother never understood her and beat her up with no reason by everything she had in her hand. This girl grew as abused child. She was very scared. When the child was beaten up again she run away to a forest where felt protected at that moment. She cried and wandered at the forest. She thought when she would grow up and become adult she would build a tiny home for herself and live on the tree.
• Became a teenager she started to hate her mother that she beat her up with no reason. That mother never hold her promises. She kept bitterness in her heart and stopped to trust her mother...
• At the orphanage nothing belongs you. If orphanage gives you a clothes it can be too big size or such condition that teenagers feel embarrassed to wear it.One pair of shoes, boots or clothes a child should wear several years. Even it looks worn out. Orphanage cannot provide more. One pair of socks can be given once a year. This girl doesn't remember, when underwear was given to children...
• The clothes, shoes any your belongings can be stolen by children or caretakers.
• Together with all girls she hidden everything under mattress. It was an one safe place for your belongings. Even a caregiver yelling because everything should be clean. But it was a place, where children could hide their own things.
• She never got a gift and never celebrated a Birthday and grew as neglected child... 
• Every day was same. She felt herself like in jail... One day she has run away, when was going home for summer holidays from the orphanage. Because she felt unwanted at home, no one waited her and at same time she felt like prisoner at the orphanage. The police was looking her for a month...
• Children do not know their rights there. When she graduated the orphanage. Caretaker told her give back the jacket what orphanage gave to the girl. So, leaving the orphanage she had not a jacket.
• She was a witness of humiliation of human dignity, offence when caretakers beat up a children. Or children terribly humiliate other children. Yes. She was scared.You should protect yourself.
• Several times local guys, who came to the orphanage hiddenly and classmate tried to rape her. This 15 years old girl cried and begged him to let her go. She was trying to jump from the second floor to run away from classmate but she was afraid. The classmate turned on music loudly did not listen her and told, you can scream no one will hear you. She was very scared, cried and pleaded him to let her go.This soul felt unprotected and alone...
• She felt terribly when teen boys came to girls bedroom and spent nights with them. She wanted run away at that moments...  But how and where to go?
• She was angry, felt pain and bitter betrayal when the best friend spent a night with a local guy and he bought a new pants and shoes for her. Everyone knew it and laughed at her. She could not protect because her classmates girls beaten her friend up no once...The girl knew, she was weak physically to protect her friend.
• Humiliation, not understanding, unprotection, violence she could not accept this all and felt unhappy. At teen age she started to think is it sense of life, if no one understand you? Is happiness real? And what is happiness???She felt pain and felt depressed. It seemed that she was necessary to nobody...

• After leaving the orphanage she did not feel as a normal kid. She felt guilty as teachers at the orphanage always told to children, you will be same like your parents, alcoholic, go to jail or become a prostitute. So, she never told to people she was at orphanage and where she grew up. She knew society will not accept her as they think "children are bad from orphanages".It humiliared her. She wanted to be and live as a normal kid...

But one wonderful day Jesus came and healed her broken heart. She heard from Christians about Jesus with such a great desire and she felt herself as a thirsty soul to know more and more about God`s love.She prayed very hard with tears and asked to save her and change her life. All bitterness, pain, loneliness, emptiness in the heart, hatred, Jesus Christ took away and filled her heart with joy, peace, forgiveness, love and happiness. 

Today this girl became a young lady, who serves same orphans and brings hope. If you don't know yet this girl was I...Jesus Christ is only one, who can give hope, joy and fill your life with a sense.To God be the glory!

I hope it will help you understand, why this( and not only this) but all ministries to orphans are so important! And why we cherish your prayers and wonderful support. I hope it will help you to understand if only a little... what feel children in orphanages and why they are so happy to see visitors. Thank you so much make it possible for Bible Orphan Ministry!My love to all!